Monday, July 26, 2010


God relaxes me. Today has been an extremely wound up day for me: thinking about the future and what's in store and all the things that need to get done. But then there's God and His resources and timing. My God has an infinite supply of love and answers. I feel like my stressing the issue makes me misunderstand Him and in turn, I don't really hear Him at all.

I am here for a reason. I don't need to try to make my place be known to all. If I war against the world without the help of God, essentially, I am warring against God. He created me with a purpose in mind and He is using my story to build people up and to make abuse more known.

If I forget who I am and try to be something I am not, I become my own enemy. I have tried to fix my situation time and time again and I know that it doesn't work. I can even know that by watching the people around me. At some level, we have all tried to fix our own problems without actually taking them to God. But what does it mean, taking them to God? For me right now - and I stated this in my other blog - it means that there is only so much I can do and I need to learn to entrust God with the fine details that I have no power over and no ability to control. I need to put all of the issues in my mind, out of my mind and leave them to the boss. Putting it this way, it's like I am doing my manager's job and he keeps telling me to focus on what I was trained for but I keep getting in His way, thinking I can do it better.

For someone who wants to become involved in helping sex trafficking this means that you need to step out and find an organization that you feel comfortable being part of and ask what you can do with the resources you've been given (i.e. organizing, giving money, listening skills, people person, etc.). We all have our places and talents to be given and received. Now if only we can coordinate our place with our wants and desires.

For me, this may be the most difficult thing I can do. As of right now, the only thing I can do for the women caught in the sex industry is pray and raise awareness. It's difficult to be in a place where I don't see anyone and can't experience the reality of helping a person in that position. However, I can see that I struggle very badly with wanting to be noticed for my achievements, it's always made me who I am. But the reality that is explained in the bible is that I am none of those things. Everything I do and don't do is but dust... I am a child of God and I am interceding on behalf of my brothers and sisters around the world. Join me in prayer.

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